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Phase III bitch's!!!!!!!!! [May. 6th, 2004|06:07 pm]
Shadow
[mood |peacefulpeaceful]
[music |Dark Lotus~jump off~ Dark Lotus~pass the axe~]

yes... remember how i mentioned phase III a few post's back? well... my friends... its here. im done fuckin around. im not gonna sugar coat shit like i used to.. im not takin anymore bullshit! Bobby... homie... you've been here longer than anyone else has been here... you know for a fact i got your back! and you remember that crazy lil kid that used to come over with my sister? yeah.. well.. that kid is back..... and WHUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! this time.... its alot different.... you need ANYTHING homie.. dont hesitate to ask... a whole new world has opened up to me! anyways..... there is something i want to address... but.. im not going to. fuck wastin my breath on it! BWAHAHAHAHA!and hun... pissed ain't quite the word.. there aint a word to even explain whut i am at you right now! yes my friends... the monster is back... and.. it's cool.. i been fixin shit with alot of old friends in my life! and real quick before i bounce right the fuck up outta here.... i got a few shout out's i need to toss! i wanna say whut up to bobby, my sister, greg, my girl, the OLD rachel ( the one who i used to be cool as fuck with before all this shit happened( its a damn shame) pinx , Clit , and of course.. those of you who pushed me over the edge to make Phase III possible! (well... soo far.. its only 2 people who pushed me over the limit... yes, they took alot out of me.. soo thanx for creating a monster) oh.. and you know who you are! and that my friends.. is all i had to say! keep it all unreal.... and ill make it even more unreal for dat ass! WHUT!
"who wanna get hacked up buy the half-wit , who got a gang of problems and dont give half a shit, bitch... you could fall victim to the double headed fury... dont be scared... be worried maaaaaaaan!!!!"
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well well well... I OFFICIALL CAST MYSELF OUTTA THIS FAMILY! [Apr. 27th, 2004|03:01 pm]
Shadow
[mood |pissed offCrushed]
[music |Twiztid ~ leave me alone~, ~Darkness~, Dark Lotus~the wall~]

and if your reading this....homie...... then listen up... and listen real fucking good.....cause this si the only time im sayin all this. ( and if you for some reason ask why im not telling this to you over the phone of in person... its because i've got nothin i wanna talk to you about!) soo.. check it.. im outta this family... im fucking done with it all! dont get me wrong.. im greatful for everything youve done for me.. and im not gonna forget it......i say im outta this family...and offa your P.M.S because there once was a time where i could confide with you.. with this family... but you killed it for me! how? BECAUSE OF YOUR FREQUENT LYING TO ME! no.. im not stupid.... and it sure as hell aint hard to put 2 and 2 together. you were once my best friend.... one of the only people who i could stand. and you know how im always right? did i not say we were falling apart? well... i was right once again. and this time.. it isnt that we are falling apart... because we are apart now. i tried to hold onto our friendship like it was a fucking diamond.... and as soon as i heard you cast greg out.. i knew it would only get worse.... maybe i got to the same point he did... where he didnt wanna be around this bullshit and lies.... GOOD WAY TO TREAT FAMILY! ive been in this fucking family longer than ANYONE has.... and i didnt think it would come to this. but it did... and it sux to say it. i hope you realize you lost a good fucking friend.. one who tried to help you out at every chance he got.... who was there to pick you up when you fell.. if not try to save you before. but obviously.. none of my fucking words mean anything to you anymore. dont bother calling me... or trying to fix this..... not until you get your own fucking head straight.. and figure out where you stand... or even how much you valued my fuckin friendship... no.. our friendship. soo with all that said.... have a good life... and when your done with the bullshit... lying.. and hiding shit from me.. and when you get your head straight..... then call me. good bye!!!!!!!!!
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well............ how about a big fuck u to everyone [Feb. 22nd, 2004|09:32 pm]
Shadow
[mood |pissed offpissed off]
[music |Twiztid~ leave me alone~ freekshow]

where to start??? today waz shit........thats the only way i could put it.. if there has ever been any day where i wish i were dead... today definatly takes the gold. i went out to eat with my moms side of the family... that waz a bad idea on my behalf. but it waz onyl good because i got to see my sister. soo, me being all stressed out... i had hoped to come home and just kick back. well..... i waz definatly wrongi come home to hearing my father tell me i cant hang out with one of my very good friends. all because a few people had to say shit. well...... givin my mood right now.... i just have to say F U C K Y O U. and im sure you all know who u r.i dont need anyone to worry about me... the only things i have been hearing lately from everyone is that i have aproblem with pills... well.... to everyone who thinks that... fuck u again. i dont have a fuckin problem.... i never went through withdrawl or any of that shit. no one wants to listen to me.... and me being the only person that knows whut is goin on in my life..... i seem to not know ( according to others) . u all wanna know why i do the things i do? plane and simple.. it helps me cope with all of you.... and dont get me wrong... i mean all of u. the shit that has been goin on in my life... my best friend dont even knwo about... everyone is too fuckin busy... well.. alright.... im gettin the picture. your not there.. soo im not there.. its a viscious circle... and we all know its darkest before dawn.. and right now.. it aint even midnight. maybe i held my demon in for too long.... i tried to keep it together for everyone elses sake..... hearing one complain abouther dick-headed.. well.. imma stop there... it really isnt worth my time posting or even talkin about anymore... u complain about it.....yet u stick around to take more of it. and dont get me wrong.. im not the only one who is sick of it. now........... sometimes i wonder why i am still alive..... really. why is it that the only time i felt any kind of peace waz when i waz destroying a fuckin church? i dont fuckin know anymore.. i give up on all of you.. i really do. this go's far beyond all the other times i wasn't right inn the head..... this time... im really fuckin done. soo.. this is how it is going to go......... me... imma let my demons out.....and all of u..... i hope u enjoy... cause though u may not understand it... you all brought it on yourselves. i warned everyone that if shit were to go bad again... this would happen..... and no one believed me.... no one ever does..... soo... im sick of playin, im sick of trying... im in an all out war with my own self.... and if anyone in here feels i have insulted them.... well....... dont that just suck. give me a week... let me calm down.. dont add to the fire, or else i will wipe u outta my mind just as quick as i let u all in. get the picture? good. now... good bye, have a nice fucking day.... and i dont wanna hear about this post from anyone.... i want every single fuckin person that i knwo who might read this to read it over again.......and let it soak in thier brains... cause like i said.. im not talkin about this with anyone. A N Y O N E!
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dont u just hate people? [Jan. 27th, 2004|10:53 pm]
Shadow
[mood |crazycrazy]
[music |Twiztid ~~renditions of reality~~]

heh.. i do. they worry too much, and they all fuckin do shit that makes u go.."whut the fuck......i dont even know u anymore" i dunno.. the last few months i have noticed this with alot of people. actually.. ever since my lil hospital run 2 weeks ago. fuck it.. i dont need anyone to worry for me. im a big boy now.( does a lil kid voice) i dunno.. shit has been mad weird. i feel myself slipping again. and this time, its to myself, by myself... im the one dragging me down.. and life is a bitch. soo i gotta deal with it. shit came clear to em for a while... and that is kinda good. i cant believe i havent updated this mutha fucka since fuckin october! anywho........ if any of u ask whut i have been doing lately, ive been getting high, drunk, and chillin with serena. soo my life is moving VERY slowly.... its all good.. all i need, is twigz, pinky, serena, greg, and my popz. that right there is my whole family. soo just wait bitches.... im in fall out mode, and when i blow up, and get myself back together.... ITS GONNA BE ON MUTHA FACKOS! the last step.. the step to compleatly be totaled. think of it as phase 3.. but this one will be permenant. and for real, im back. anyways.. thats it. im done
have a good read, fuck off if u dont like it... THEN GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WORLD! now... im done.. peace out. much mutha fuckin twiztid serial killin juggalo love
B-rock
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SUP? [Nov. 4th, 2003|11:59 pm]
Shadow
[mood |weirdweird]
[music |House Of Krazees~~"R.I.P"~~]

aight, im tripped the fuck out.. my friend got somthang in his foot... and its pretty bad that all i can do is alugh! im sooo tripped out... halloween......i got me some alchohol poisioning, and that shyt SUX! anywayz, kidz... lemme tell u this.... NEVER DO CCC !
its bad for u.. stick wit the green plants....! they hella better!
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middle mind state [Oct. 16th, 2003|01:03 am]
Shadow
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |"hatchet love" Blaze ya dead homie]

if u know whut that means.. props to u.. twigz.. i know u know whut it means... soo im in a good mood...fuckin A !! batman for life... twiztid for life..PSYCHOPATHIC FOR LIFE! fo rilla! im a skrilla... thats enough of that... ok.. im makin chicken fingers.. soo.. im out like michel jackson's black skin color! peace mutha facko's and mutha fackette's!

"agony and remorse are repeated.. only to bring despair in the end!"
think and dwell on that BIATCH!
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we dont ned a brain, we dont need a thang, we just need some homies to smoke with [Oct. 15th, 2003|03:14 am]
Shadow
[mood |crazycrazy]
[music |~Twiztid~ the marsh lagoon]

ok ok... soo my last entry struck a few chords wit a few people...sorry.. soo i have shown you everything, and now u "dislike" who i am.gotta love the way this world works. heh. anywho... yeah, shitty shit shit shit!
you know? life aint doin me no good.... and if im losin things to hold on to... im keepin my head held high for my dream.yes, i finally have a goal in life.. and should i share it wit u? naw.... i dont think imma do that! soo... depression and insanity has taken over.. and my old self is on shut down for repair..... this is the point where u either like me, or hate me. and... i just need to get back ot my old old old ass self... grab my ballz, and say a good old fuck you to everyoe who aint liking my vibes for the time being. life's a bitch, then u move on.... it has beena god while since i last blazed.. and it sux. but.. friday.... friday night.... hopefully, my boy matt, chris, charles, and a few others will join me in my dawn of a new day. twigz... my guess is your gonna be wit barry.. and if thats the case.... u can stop by and chill for a short... but... well..... if u read this before then.. ill explain it to you. YES.. I ACTUALLY SAID I WILL EXPLAIN SUMTHIN TO YOU! SUPRISE!!!!!!! Bobby... my homie of whut... 7 years now? well.. going on 7 anyways.. lol... im tellin ya.. when i get back... whut me and u talked about the other night is gonna happen... we gonna get fucked up, and we gonna chill, just like old ass mutha fuckin times! its been to long, and.. well... shit got fucked. you know how it go'z homie! soo.. im listenin to leave me alone by twiztid.... and im sittin in some green light. just my style. allz i ned now.. is a few pillz, and maybe a blunt or 2. but.. im outta money, and im outta pillz for a while. it is 3:25 am.... do u know where your kids are? i do... I FUCKIN KILLED THEM AND ATE THIER DEAD BODIES BITCH! you best believe that! ahh... the better sweet symphonic sound of sumthin breakin..... music to my ears! man... if i ever get back to the old me... ill explain whut happened..... and if i dont... well then.." i'll tell you in another life... when we are both cat's"
ok... one last thing.. and this is speciffically for 1 person.... twigz... like me or hate me... i love you homie... for everything u have done for me.... and weather we stay as close of homies as we were.... is up to u.... i walk wit the wind.. and u were my wind. the next step is your move.... and if this is checkmate... then.. it waz fun.. but... hopefully it's not.
ok.. this dead mutha fucka is out... ima leave you wit a quote.
"i handel u like a candel, break you in half.. and then i laugh at you....soak you in gas and make you flamable... i burn the body and i gather the ash.. now i sprinkle the lagoon every chance i get"
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FUCK IT ALL!! [Oct. 12th, 2003|10:18 pm]
Shadow
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |"leave me alone"~twiztid]

ok.. soo i dont update as much anymore. big fuckin wop! as u can tell... my life is in the dumps. i wanna die, and it needs to happen soon.. im sick of everything... and shit is not gettin better, only worse! you see... i used to think of myself as a warrior inlife... imean, i wouldnt let things really get me down. but, now... i cant help it... when u see me smile... its not real.. when u see me laugh.. it aint real! when u see me... im not real. i cant handle shit. im a waste of space, and i know it. look at me.. i am home 98% of the day... and im online... i dont have a job, i dont have a car... i dont go to skool... the list go'z on people. this isnt a call for help... this is more like a warning. i cant do this anymore.. i really cant... somethin needs to change, or shit will get worse and worse. you best believe.. that when i get a car (assuming im still alive then) im not gonna be in new york.
anyways... on to other shit....
barry and rachel.... hmm... have fun. and thats all im gonna fuckin say about it.
kat,julia, and a few other girls... fuck off.. i dont want your shit. i dont need your shit.. and if u try to fuck wit my head again... you will fuckin die.

THE GAMES ARE OVER... MY MOUTH IS SHUT.. IM NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT ANY OF THIS WITH ANYONE! just give me enough time to sort alot of shit out... and then maybe i will talk. oh, and twigz... this isnt completely directed towards you.. soo dont worry! i love you homie... no matter whut happens, or whut goz down. ok yall... im out peace!
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soo... i fucked up last night! [Sep. 27th, 2003|07:23 pm]
Shadow
[mood |indescribableindescribable]
[music |twiztid~~ "wrong with me"]

ok..... there are only 2 ppl that know whut i did last night.... and i know i got went outta control.... and i feel shitty about it. whut i did definatly waznt like me..... and, well..... NEVER AGAIN! i hope your not too pissed at me. (you know who you are!) it waz the first and LAST timeim ever like that.you know whut? from now on.... im done with pillz.......well, maybe except for ambien. needless to say, whut i did is haunting me, and since it has been on my mind since i became consious this afternoon..... i dont know, all gotta say homie, is that im sorry. well....i dont know whut to say about that anymore.... i even let myself down, and stooped to a new low. sorry sorry sorry sorry SORRY!
now..... now that i am done with all that.... i just wanna say, twiztid is in 5 days... and it will be fun. ok, im out.... im just feelin really... really mentally shitty.
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(no subject) [Sep. 24th, 2003|01:32 am]
Shadow
U mean like this...
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